Follow me

Reading John 1:43
"Follow me"

A call to follow is both a call to embrace something new and to release or leave behind something old. The more radical the call, the more deeply felt the gains and losses will be. I have never found the call of Jesus to be comfortable or to feel safe. It is a call away from all that is familiar and reasonable.

I can love people who love me. I just can't feel comfortable with loving my enemy, with blessing those who curse me and doing good to those who despitefully use me and persecute me. I saw what happened to Martin Luther King. It just doesn't seem fair. Being a Christian offends my sense of justice. To love my enemy, I just can't follow that.
(But if I don't follow will I ever find out who God is? If I don't follow won't God always seem as boring and shallow as myself? I don't need God to help me be like me but I sure need him to help me be like him.)

I can forgive people who hurt me, within reason and up to a certain limit. I just can't keep forgiving them over and over again. You have to keep some kind of accounting of wrongs done, after which you call down fire from heaven. After all, many of my favorite movies are based on the revenge theme. It feels good to finally have a day of reckoning. To give up that "right," I just can't follow that.
(But if I don't follow will I ever find out who God is? If I don't follow won't God always seem as boring and shallow as myself? I don't need God to help me be like me but I sure need him to help me be like him.)

I can extend myself to help others, if I have the time and it doesn't conflict with my plans. My right to myself and to all that I own is not something that I can just let slip away. To "consider others better than myself," to "take the very nature of a servant," this is going way too far. I just can't follow that.
(But if I don't follow will I ever find out who God is? If I don't follow won't God always seem as boring and shallow as myself? I don't need God to help me be like me but I sure need him to help me be like him.)

Believe me, the list goes on and on.

How could Jesus just walk up to me, in the midst of my comfortable life and say: "follow me?"

What am I to do?

I learned quickly how to be a good Baptist but how can I learn to be a good Christian? You say, "follow me," but how can I possibly keep up to you? Perhaps, after starting with good intention, I've lost sight of you already. Help me to "follow hard after you."